I spent a lot of time thinking about what had changed between us over the last 2 days. I realized… that unlike before, I was completely drawn inside my mind. While I was thinking, I barely realized he was there, unlike before, where…. I was constantly aware of his presence. It just… felt different, before. Even when I was deep in thought, I was still keeping tabs on his proximity to me and just being aware of him. But now, even though he was right next to me, it felt like he didn’t exist. I was so deeply inside my own head, that it almost felt like receding into a dream… I completely tuned out the rest of the world, and barely knew it was there. When I’m with the people I’m having a situation with, I don’t think about that situation while I’m with them. But with him sitting right next to me, I was thinking about how to fix things and how he might feel and everything to do with the whole problem. And then I looked up, and suddenly realize he’s right there. It was really unnerving, and disorienting… I’m pretty sure my mind has undergone a complete revision since the day he said those words. I can even feel how I’m different.
